Him: Okay, so, just don’t paint the patio.
Him: Or, just don’t make yourself a dress!
Me: <blink, blink>
Him: It’s that simple!
Me: <squints> Dude. You’ve known me how long?*
Him: <throws up hands in despair>
Heh. He doesn’t even know about the mirror. Or the artworks.
*answer: 26 years. 26 years! Seriously. You’d think he’d have learned by now.